34. Stone Girl Crazy

if you wait it out
it will become

something
always happens

if you wait
for it

stone for water
stone for luck
stone for skipping
stone for not

pee in the rain
and you are
the rain

yell into
the storm and
you are
the storm

but
follow
a few
rules


1. Search Everybody.

desire
is what is made
of us

but not
each
of us

you must
find that myth

back of a car
back of a dress
back of a card

Buicks once
roamed the earth
in search
of red dresses
to hang
as trophies

you can make
them out of
stone or
wood or
words

and when
you do you
will know
they are
women they
are a
woman


2. Look for Clue.

you couldn’t
know it
without knowing
her and
you couldn’t
know if
she were
really her
without finding
too many
before her
and even more
afterwards

the clues
were everywhere

sun at
sunrise

rain during
thunderstorms

the way
water turns
to ice

but never
asks her
a question

without
the question
you don’t
know

was her
hair brown?
was her
hair blonde
was her
hair short?
was her
hair long?

you need
to check
you need
to know


3. Examine all windows.

what
you can see
through
tells you
what
you can see

look through
each window
for a vision
that you
wait for

check each
window
for locks
and break
them off
if there
are any

let the windows
stay open
let the wind
come in
the night
is warmer
than your
sweat but you
are almost
as warm

be the night
and you
will see the
night even
with the moon
only through
a window

but not
through every

so look
through
it


4. Search for finger prints.

she must have left
some evidence behind
that she once existed
before you the print
of a finger on a glass
the scratch of her nail
in your back the scent
of her was it perfume?
or was it just her?

she might have left
a bruise on a petal
of the rose you gave
her and she left she
might have left the
warmth from her
breath in a cup as
she left she might
have left an im-
pression somewhere

in the mud in the gar-
den in the first garden
in wet cement in your
ball of clay in even you

find where her finger
fell where she let her
hand rest upon a table
around a cup behind
your neck on your cock
at your lower back in
a night in a night
sweating in a summer
night in a place you
cannot remember but
a place that was the
only place that was
ever real to you


5. Shadow your woman closely.

what is moist
about her
is why you
stay close but
moisture may
be tears

stay close and
you can tell

if she walks when
she moves through
the world as you
first imagined it
primeval in the
sense that it seemed
like this is the way
it first was and
never changed then
you must follow her

when she moves
you must rustle
behind her so
she thinks you are
the wind when she
stops you must
settle so she
believes you are
the sun or shade

stay close and you
may know her and
you may understand
why she moves and
where stay close
and you may catch
her scent and you
might tell when she
is ready and the
world is rolling
toward you again


6. Send for the police.

you won’t need
the police

but you
should
call them

their lights
will entertain
you and
maybe
they will
bring her out
of the darkness

and if
she is lost
maybe
they will
help
you find
her

sometimes
the only
thing
you have
lost is your
desire but
desire is
everything
it is
something
you follow
as you must

she leaves
a trail
behind her
a gentle
parting
of the air
occasionally
a broken
blade of
grass or
a drop of
water
out of
place

and the police
might help
you find
those clues

but they
do not
know how
she feels
inside


7. Keep cool.

two bodies are
too hot together

the sweat will
hold you tighter
together you
will not be able
to leave her
your skin will
cling to hers
and you will
not be able
to leave her
sweet cunt

she is not
a woman
she is the
woman
first and
after the
one who
defines
you and
your only
desire so
small that
it takes up
all the space
in your body

she wears
just a shirt
or just a
skirt or your
shirt to stay
cool because
the night is
too warm as
warm as your
sweat and
her sweat to-
gether

it happened
all of a sudden
without
explanation
which is
to say
it happened