340. A Map of Meself
CHRIS
teeth that tell of you
(through the gap)
to be wearing a mask
to have in the wearing of the mask a hiding
of the stigma
of the mark
(on a corner as a marked person
not one of the crowd
apart from society
someone discarded)
might let the mask slip
to show
hating the interiors of
just a white note
in the movement
just a white note
in the speaking
just a white note
lost in the chorus
of who might pee on you
swear on you
hit on you
set you on fire
it’s okay putting it in words
but words are not going to change anything
words won’t change a thing
just as a little light in the middle of a great ocean
and at night
SCOTS JOHN
from the Helms
not at the [singular]
man of faith
but not religion
come on out of a hard life
walk on up a hill
season of sunshine upon it
and green for it
rain comes down upon
then again sun
rain comes down upon again
then again sun again
water of life
(he said)
it pissed down twice
water of life
he said
TIM DIXON
a cigarette gets rolled small like a toothpick
doesn’t make much smoke or smell
is slipped between the lips
as words slip out between
(quietness verging on silence)
decades on the street
and “it’s not bad”
with a grave gentle dog
“Charlie” (a she)
the wander from town
to other towns
sometimes to avoid the troubles
always a chance to start a life anew
in a new place
old though they be
“I’ve got my travelling boots off”
Mancunian now and for good
“I’ve got my travelling boots off”
“It’s harder to sell on sunny days”
he says
people think your life is fine in the sun
if the sun
people think you’ve lost your problems
“But more hassle on a bad day”
people understand their own problems then
and don’t care about yours
MIRCEA
come bearing paper flags
on the day of a wedding
one side Union Jack
one side an ad for a prince and princess married
patriot from Romania
and still learning this English
into him
“ni” sewn onto his right knee
“ni” sewn onto his left
he learns phonetically by the repetition
of wearing these jeans
the repetition of living
an engineer by training
and learning to draw with his hands
very bad on sleep
“keep fear”
keeps fear very close
pink fingernail polish flaking from fingers
erosion from the edges
on these sturdy hands
(a tall man)
“elbau” sewn onto the elbow of his jacket
“koff” sewn onto the back of his legs (the jeans, for “cuff”)
Logo for Barbie sewn upside-down
on his T-shirt so he could look down on it and read
mind wandering into conversation
or through
the intensity of compulsion
talk
to learn the words
sew
to learn the words
draw
to see the things the words say
he says
“I decorate my life”
two narrow strips of cardboard
sewn onto the back of each pants leg
and he can slip the stem of a small hand flag
between cardboard and denim
his shins waving the two flags
“I decorate my life”
he says
“I decorate my life”
and written above the word “Barbie”
so written below the logo upside down there
“BODY”
his body
changing as it doesn’t change.
teeth that tell of you
(through the gap)
to be wearing a mask
to have in the wearing of the mask a hiding
of the stigma
of the mark
(on a corner as a marked person
not one of the crowd
apart from society
someone discarded)
might let the mask slip
to show
hating the interiors of
just a white note
in the movement
just a white note
in the speaking
just a white note
lost in the chorus
of who might pee on you
swear on you
hit on you
set you on fire
it’s okay putting it in words
but words are not going to change anything
words won’t change a thing
just as a little light in the middle of a great ocean
and at night
SCOTS JOHN
from the Helms
not at the [singular]
man of faith
but not religion
come on out of a hard life
walk on up a hill
season of sunshine upon it
and green for it
rain comes down upon
then again sun
rain comes down upon again
then again sun again
water of life
(he said)
it pissed down twice
water of life
he said
TIM DIXON
a cigarette gets rolled small like a toothpick
doesn’t make much smoke or smell
is slipped between the lips
as words slip out between
(quietness verging on silence)
decades on the street
and “it’s not bad”
with a grave gentle dog
“Charlie” (a she)
the wander from town
to other towns
sometimes to avoid the troubles
always a chance to start a life anew
in a new place
old though they be
“I’ve got my travelling boots off”
Mancunian now and for good
“I’ve got my travelling boots off”
“It’s harder to sell on sunny days”
he says
people think your life is fine in the sun
if the sun
people think you’ve lost your problems
“But more hassle on a bad day”
people understand their own problems then
and don’t care about yours
MIRCEA
come bearing paper flags
on the day of a wedding
one side Union Jack
one side an ad for a prince and princess married
patriot from Romania
and still learning this English
into him
“ni” sewn onto his right knee
“ni” sewn onto his left
he learns phonetically by the repetition
of wearing these jeans
the repetition of living
an engineer by training
and learning to draw with his hands
very bad on sleep
“keep fear”
keeps fear very close
pink fingernail polish flaking from fingers
erosion from the edges
on these sturdy hands
(a tall man)
“elbau” sewn onto the elbow of his jacket
“koff” sewn onto the back of his legs (the jeans, for “cuff”)
Logo for Barbie sewn upside-down
on his T-shirt so he could look down on it and read
mind wandering into conversation
or through
the intensity of compulsion
talk
to learn the words
sew
to learn the words
draw
to see the things the words say
he says
“I decorate my life”
two narrow strips of cardboard
sewn onto the back of each pants leg
and he can slip the stem of a small hand flag
between cardboard and denim
his shins waving the two flags
“I decorate my life”
he says
“I decorate my life”
and written above the word “Barbie”
so written below the logo upside down there
“BODY”
his body
changing as it doesn’t change.
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