246. The Salt and Crust of the Earth

Feldspar the Magnificent
Giant Lion of the Ultimate Vein of Disturbance
Franklin of the Eastern Realm of Tennessee
The Distinguished Condolences of the Rightward Tendencies
Mathman of the Working Until the Dishes are Clean League
Clarence, the Sainted Angel of Your Local School District
Samson Without Whom We Would Walk Ourselves Bald
Slim Sarah Solvent of the Graduated Cylinder
Frog-Eyed Old White-Haired Man of Arizona
Glumpy, the Bulbous Bagpiper
Entreaty, the Last Gasp of Hope
Odium, the Transcontinental Flyboy
Leroy of the Rural Electrocution Program
Cardamon of the Interstate Olfactory Commission
Beauty’s Burgeon of the Miraculous Vision
Constant Delivery of the Great Expostulations
His Lordly Highness Fallen Asleep with a Smile on His Face
Avuncular Dissenter by the Waters of the Great Divide
Periwinkle, the Color of the Snail’s Flower
Virgin Milliner Who Faces Fantastic Futures
Barney, Both Bipolar and Bipartisan
Articulate, the Aspirational
Corporal Hurtle of the Union of Extravagant Hyperbole
The Grand Panjandrum of Popular Poetic Parlance
Inspired Mr Miracle and His Band of Holy Revelers
His Excellency the Lord Exchequer of Sweet Deals
Bulletproof the Well Armed by Five
Carbon, the Debtor Copied over from Debt
Who It is Who Has Said All that Need Be Said
The Great and Powerful Ooze
The Twins Budge and Nudge
Coruscating Hawkeye in the Bluing Sky
The Porter across the Void
Sir Kinder Knight of the Rolling Woods
The Heralded Armory of Love
Distance Vision Whose Myopia Radiates
The Version of the Song Remembered Only from the Middle
Vanilla, the Faint but Powerful Aphrodisiac
The Great Silver Maple of the Western Forest
Cognac, the Sharp and Smoothing
Barleycorn, the Middling Virtue of Overlooking
Sir Mister Toad of Carmarthenshire Passageway
Night Tremors Situated by the Firelight
Metaphor, the Son of Virgil
The Glorious Minions Who Molded the Forms of Desire
Charles, the Fat and Bald
Hieronymus Balthasar, the Well Named Satyr
Liquor the Greatest of Muses
King General Fairview the Pious
Whisper the Flatfooted
Gordian Knot Duke of Westphalia and All the Phalias
Aloof I of the Cold Unwelcoming North
Basil the Byzantine Emperor of Green Sense
Cross-Eyed George XIII
Balance, the Hunchbacked
Dawdle, King of the Romans
Torque, Grand Duchess of Reverie
His Serene Highness Prince Albert in a Can
Marshall Marmot, Viscount of the Least Burrow
Rear-Admiral Sir Dysentery of the Bowels
Colonel Maze of Drunkenness and Delusion
Duke of the City of Empty Losses
Malcontent, the Great and Tall Hound Island Dragon
Malatesta y Testamala
Rosary Prime Concubine of Concupiscence
The Powerful Peter Purview of the Potentate of Potential
Mary of Undifferentiated Disturbances
Una, She Who Must Be Assessed
Regurgitated Thought of Unending Colloquia
Mural, the Always Successful Sultan and the Conqueror of Banality
Bertrand, the King of Popes
Tawdry, the Unburned
Paris, the Paris of France
Cardinal Sin Minister Plenipotentiary and Healer to the Sick
Sackbut, the Musical Minister to the Misled
Admirable, Le Soupçon de Huit Ans Longtemps
Queen Patricia Matriarch of All Visible Realms
Zenith the Lesser
Balustrade from Whom We Are Eternally Separated
Adam of Scotia and the Minor Islands of the Mohawk
King Vitriol of Upper Registers
Casement, Son of Casement
Hedwig, First Daughter of the Ancient Realm of Venus
Unrevised of the United Monarchy of Saints
Capsicum, Hurrier of Tongues
Mica the Fragile

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